[Stephanie]

“The wall is not where God leaves you, it’s where He meets you differently.”

One truth I’ve come to discover in my journey with God is that, at some point, your old way of relating to Him stops working. And you hit The wall, or as I like to call it, The Dark Night of The Soul. This wall, strips away illusion, deception and control.

Two things that occured to me during this season is that;

1. Growth begins where control ends.

2. The wall is not a sign of failure, it is an invitation to deeper surrender.

If that is the case, I am forced to ask myself, “What am I afraid to surrender?” “What is God inviting me to release and let go of?”

Personally, I am currently in that season, and one thing I will say is this, Its not funny nor is it pleasant. But God is helping me navigate through it as I’ve gone through different stages in this season.

I will tell you all about it on saturday.😊

And I look forward to listening to yours and learning from your experiences as well.

Blessings.

[Stephanie]

This week’s lesson is deeply challenging. I must confess. Its causing me to confront things about my family story i’ve always turned away from.

Im identifying and recognizing patterns I did not want to acknowledge.

Can these patterns really be broken Or do we continue our lives relying on God’s mercy to cover our helplessness in repeating said patterns?

[Stephanie]

1. For King Saul, I see the pattern of “Doing for God instead of Being with God.” He thought God was going to be impressed with his sacrifices. However, what God wanted was obedience. If he spent more time with God, he would have discovered this.

2. I would say for me, the symptom I exhibit sometimes is, “Ignoring The Emotions of fear, sadness and pain.” As I have a tendency to internalize and surpress my emotions rarher than express them.

3. This One is tricky, still finding my way through to be able to differentiate when I’m moving in obedience and when my actions are motivated by selfish ambition.

Cause there is this idea/feeling that I struggle with. The idea and the feeling that I’ve wasted a lot of time and I need to catch up. I see so many people accomplishing so much around me and it seems I’ve not done anything for God.

So there is a very strong desire to fill up my time with dreams and activities I want to achieve for God, as per doing the work of ministry to ensure that I’m being productive. Cause sometimes I feel God is disappointed in me. And I feel as though I’m not bearing fruits with the amount of investments God has deposited into me.

[Stephanie]

Amen!

[Stephanie]

Amen🙏🏾

[Stephanie]

I feel so inspired and glad to read your experiences.🥰😊

[Stephanie]

Same here Esther😊 I would really love to sit Father Abraham and ask him, “with all due respect sir, how did you get yourself to do it?” Because, there is a deeper part of that story that we tend to miss. We will look into it on saturday.

[Stephanie]

Thank you for sharing Esther. Its really not easy dealing with our unpleasant emotions. Thankful for God’s light and wisdom to guide us through this season.🙏🏾